What I have learned from a year of wondering

Well friends, 2016 was quite a year. If I had to sum it up into one word, it would be *CHANGE*.
This past year started out like any other. I formed my 2016 goals from my list of resolutions left over from the year before and kept hacking away. I have finally padded my emergency acct, paid an extra $1,000 on my student loan, and crossed off more than half of my project list. But things started to shift. By mid year, 2016 became a stormy sea of one change after another for me. With my daughter turning 2 years old, my old pal Aunt Flow came back into my life. With it she brought the Goddess of Returned Fertility and also the Goddess of Loss.
Uncertainty was everywhere. In succession it all went something like this:
Pregnant 8/31/16
Layoffs 9/20/16
Job reorganization 9/27/16
Miscarriage 10/11/16
D&C 10/12/16
My father moved 8 states away 10/21/16
Election Day 11/8/16

For two months, pieces of my life shuffled and reorganized and I all I could do was tag along for the ride. Control was a mirage. During this time I thought a LOT. Should I stay with the my company after all the reorganization? Should I try again for a successful pregnancy? Should I lean in or should I hide under a rock? In finding solace and piece of mind, I read a LOT, including a LOT of blogs. I drew strength from reading other’s tales, experiences, and shared wisdom.

I also decided to live my life as if I WAS IN CHARGE. Rather than not doing something because “what if x,y, or z”….or any other excuse I tend to justify things with, I am just DOING. I have been accepted into a Leadership program at work (if I do have another baby – I will figure things out then, I will not worry about it now). I am also taking another MBA course simply because I like learning.

My big take aways from 2016 in all her mischief and glory are:
1. Ditch was isn’t working whether it’s an attitude, habit, etc…
2. Say YES a little bit more (even if you are scared)
3. Don’t put your life on hold waiting for the future. The only time is NOW.

Thank you fellow bloggers who have commented, followed, and supported this blog. This is a wonderful community of bloggers.
I wish you all happiness and love in 2017.

Love,
Mrs. Mother Dirt

2 Replies to “What I have learned from a year of wondering”

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